One is supposed to be scary as a ghost for a Halloween party on All Soul's Day. It is an American tradition that has been adopted by many countries. I don't know the origin of ghosts being so frightening because they could also be beautiful in an apparition they choose to be seen. The tradition has become commercialised, like all others that the scarier and uglier the masks for Halloween, the better they sell.
I want to take ghosts and demons away from the Halloween gaiety and bring them into the real lives of people who have difficulties confronting them. How often do we hear someone say: "I have my own demons plaguing me and I don't know how to deal with them." Or perhaps it is like this: " The ghosts of my past keep trespassing into my present and I am held hostage." These are terrible burdens to carry on and they affect one's capacity for enjoying life and love, for giving and for sharing them.
I have a friend who met and fell in love with her perfect man. He was everything she wanted for a lifelong partner. But somewhere in the relationship, something broke irreparably. So she married someone else who was a good person, but she had no closure with her love of her life, and she failed to give herself to the man she married. They separated. Up to now, that closure hangs in limbo.
Then there's the story between a mother and her daughter. She was young when she had her. And when she left for Europe to find a new life, she left her daughter to the care of the grandmother. When she was ready to take on her duties of mothering and reclaimed her daughter, she could never make her love her as a mother. They became enemies.
Another example. A close friend came home early from her shopping tour in the city and stumbled upon her diplomat husband with another woman in their marital bed. She was devastated. She wanted instant divorce. But they were both middle-aged and if separated, they would be losers. She claimed that she could never trust him again which is understandable. But on the other hand, she failed to accept that she probably forgot he was a man instead of just being the husband who brought home the bacon. And he, a middle-aged man succumbed to the flattery of a younger woman's seduction.
Still another example and it is about a boy of eleven whose mother died so suddenly. He was perplexed, numbed by the thought that someone so young and vital as her mother could die so suddenly. And he said: " I had many things to ask her but now I will never be able to do so." This is almost as traumatic as another case where the son said upon hearing of his father's death: " I will never be able to tell him that I really loved him." Or a wife who said: " I never told him how much I really loved him and he died without knowing my true feelings for him."
These are traumatic experiences that many are forced to live with because they cannot confront, or exorcise the ghosts and demons of the past. They maybe defeated for a while in an environment of trust and affection, but they can resurrect all at once in any unguarded moments. "The answer is out there," quoting a popular TV series. But how does one find those answers. Should one seek, or should one wait for time to bring the answers. Would it be too difficult to forgive oneself for one's own sins of omission, and for other's wrong that left a broken heart? Unless there is grace and humility to accept and make amends for wrongs done to oneself and to others the ghosts and demons will lord over the present and future of one's lifetime.#
No comments:
Post a Comment