Sometime ago, I read an article entitled "A motherless generation" - based on an emotional narrative of a Filipina working as au pair in Spain. Her lamentations about missing her children who were growing up in the care of her relatives, portray the painful agony of thousand other mothers from countries like the Philippines, who are forced to work abroad in order to support children and parents. Marriages break up and the effect of broken homes further aggravate the social cost of overseas labour. The winner is the country's economy that benefits from the billions in foreign remittances of overseas workers.
This is the tragedy of a globalised labour market that forces people - a majority of whom are mothers and wives, to leave their families behind because of economic reasons. Many women work as domestics, au pairs as well as other service-related jobs. Each one has a story to tell, about the experiences in battling discrimination, unfair labour condition, sexual exploitation, loneliness and loss of self-dignity. And the children have their own sad tales of growing up without parental love and affection. No matter how loving grandparents and relatives maybe, there is no substitute for mother's love. It is the bedrock of one's childhood without which adulthood would be devoid of love itself. What could a child who grew up without a mother's nurturing love possibly share with her own family and children. As the cliche goes, you cannot give that which you never had.
Growing up without close maternal love and affection that plague the "motherless generation" is aggravated by an uncertain sense of moral and ethical values in the children's understanding of their relationship with the outside world. In worst cases, apathy replaces sympathy for one's own family and the humanity at large. And because they are deprived of the nearness of parental love, it becomes difficult for them to develop feelings of affection and empathy for others. They are emotionally handicapped to share the most important function of the heart, to give and reciprocate love and to be compassionate and forgiving to those who err against them.
I am not generalising that all children belonging to the present-day "motherless generation" suffer from deprivation of the finer qualities of the heart. There are lucky exceptions, who by sheer strength and determination overcome the overwhelming difficulty of growing up without mothers. It maybe genetics, intelligence and a nourishing alternative home environment that have cushioned the negative effects of absentee mothering.
However, before the present day "motherless generation", it was the era of a "fatherless generation". In the 60s and 70s, the Philippines underwent a social and political upheaval after the imposition of martial law followed by a prolonged era of authoritarianism. It was characterised by armed conflicts between the government's military forces and the rise of people power movements fighting for democratic changes. The Marcos dictatorship used the military to suppress all forms of dissent through oppression and suppression of all freedoms. It was the reign of state terrorism. Thousands of people - students, workers, farmers, professionals, journalists joined the underground movement and became the forefront of the people's revolution for democratic change. Many were arrested and detained for many years, often in solitary confinement.
The children of political activists became orphans, losing fathers and mothers to the struggle. They became "children of the revolution" - growing up in someone else care in some safer sanctuary beyond the brutal reach of vengeful military men and civilian defense forces roaming the cities and countrysides. These were dangerous days of "search, arrest and detention" of anyone suspected of involvment in subversive activities. Subversion meant affiliation with the illegal communist movement. It was a clear black and white definition of who was subversive - those against the dictatorship and those who were in favour. "If you're not with us, then you must be against us."
How many "children of the revolution" were deeply traumatised by the temporary, in some cases the permanent loss of parents. Have these children been compensated for their sufferings in early life, honoured for their phenomenal ability to grow up without hatred and regrets for the way they were born into parents with political commitments greater than family. How did the children understand that it was for the greater good, for a future in a democratically-governed society that they grew up without parents.
In my own private sphere, my children were martial law victims just as much as their parents. They had prolonged stay in the province in my mother's care when the military intelligence placed my BF Home residence under surveillance, for how long I cannot begin to guess. A year after martial law was declared, I was arrested and detained for more than a month. I was released due to the appeal and representation made by a close friend whose uncle was a former Minister of Foreign Affairs.
My children were not affected by any "motherless generation" syndrome. I was around, so was my sister who devoted her life to taking care of the children. She never married. I was always on the go, a single parent and breadearner. I did not sense any trauma affecting my children who in an amazing way, grew up with tremendous capacity for love and compassion.
Today's children of the "motherless generation" are inheriting their mother's work and hence treading the same uncertain path in some foreign countries where they have little or no rights at all. They are also paying the same social cost in the form of broken homes, loss of children's custody and worst- the weakening of Christian family values that had been at the core of Filipino nationhood. And while the economy depends on the overseas workers' remittances to pay for the crude oil imports, the "motherless generation" remains hostage to a future without mothers. #
