The limits of generosity

It is not easy to find the limits of one's generosity because this human attribute lies in the innermost of one's heart, a heart that is human. The heart controls and appropriates all its beautiful qualities in different ways, at different times to different recipients. A heart that is capable of love is also capable of sharing it with others in more than a hundred different ways.

I am not talking of romantic love which involves two people whose lives are unified by a common purpose and direction in life. This is the emotional feeling of two whose presence in each one's life makes a difference between living and existing.

There are other forms of love that serves as a source of goodness and generosity. A family is the home of the noblest of emotions between parents and children and among brothers and sisters. It is only in an extreme case of aberration where a parent, a son or daughter can disown one another.

Then comes love between friends which is not easy to define because when I say friends, I mean friendship that has survived the test of time and loyalty. I use to say, I have many friends but there's just a few I keep to my heart. If I am too careless with my capacity to keep friends I could end up dry as the Sahara. I guess it goes the same with romantic love - that giving too much of oneself in an unequal sharing basis could leave the other undernourished, in a sort of way.

I am getting off my topic of generosity because I get easily carried away by the subject of love itself. It is just great to speak and write about it if one is in love. To resume my topic on generosity, I want delimit it to people and situations outside my blood relations.

I just passed through an experience where I believe there was some element of cultural difference involved. Where I come from - that is Asia, the trait of generosity is abundant and we seem to spread it around like there's no tomorrow. We are generous even to strangers. This particular experience that evoke this blog's topic is quite disturbing to my sense of generosity and friendship because it felt like I (or we ) have been taken advantage of.

These are not friends of mine who stayed for almost week with us because it seemed cheaper for them to do so. They, or at least the man is an old friend of my other half and they came to buy a boat, our boat. Since we opened our door to these people, all other doors were also opened. What seemed unsual was that, my (our) generosity with things we have and own was not reciprocated. They were living off us, apparently.

It was truly disturbing! It is not in my nature to remind another that it is his or her turn to pick up the tab or that they can share in the food cost. I believe that it is extremely lacking in taste and breeding to take advantage of another's generosity, let alone friendship. It was almost funny when our female guest came home with two oranges, and later two small beers, which meant they only considered themselves and excluded their hosts. And that this was taking place in my home was hard to imagine.

Then came cynicism in conversations about the state of affairs in Sweden, how it is taken advantage of by people who are guests - who live by other people's tax contribution, some of whom are most likely supporters of fanatical religions spreading chaos and terror in the world.

I am sitting there having some people who are castigating immigrants and I am not exactly fair and blue-eyed. What kind of people are eating our food, using our water and electricity, our guestroom, our toilet - who are so anti-immigrant, they´d probably kiss anti-immigrant newcomer parliamentarian Jimmy Åkesson's ass.

After the 6th day they decided to move to a hotel - thanks God for small mercies, because I was prepared to pack my traveling bag and return to Stockholm. My sense of fairness and generosity has never been as shaken as this recent encounter with a couple who mostly likely landed from the planet Miser.

Looking at it from a larger view, there are some of us who are generous and egalitarian in our way of life because it feels good to do so. We become a happier people when we make others happy. On the other hand there are those who simply take and take, but never give back.#