The Coming and Passing of 2010

2010 is coming to an end and it is only fitting to think of how fast the year went with things and events that filled the hours, days, weeks and months of the year soon bygone. It has been a year of life-changing decisions after reaching a stage where one enjoys the freedom to enter an arena of choices and non-choices.

The start of 2010 for me was momentous when an opportunity for a last minute travel to some island in the Atlantic presented itself with the first snow blizzard that ushered in a long hard winter in Sweden. That was the beginning of many new things that followed later. The most important, was the beguiling chance of a new lifestyle somewhere that extended in space beyond some seas and oceans.

In January last year, we (my life companion and I) discovered Cape Verde by accident - a third choice after rejecting the first two places also known for sunshine and exotic beauty. Some say that divine intervention or accidental fates can come with unentended consequences that bring great surprises. Just when life's worth appeared to have reached its peak of diminishing return, so comes an invitation for new challenges. Not exactly challenges that impose itself like an ultimatum, but one that comes with the allure of a temptress.

When we discovered Cape Verde, we saw the possibility to re-arrange our lifestyle and enjoy the freedom to be where our hearts take us. Sweden is beautiful to experience the four seasons, to watch the eternal cycle of birth, death and rebirth of nature's living landscape. But winters despite its pristine beauty is not for all ages. It forces many less sporty souls to a life of indoor seclusion. One does not have to accept such an imposition if there's a way out of it.

There are places of more agreeable weather that guarantee a lifestyle of active interaction with mankind and nature. The tropics is nothing new to me. I am of the tropics and I have lived near two great oceans - the Pacific and Indian. To sail the Atlantic ocean recently simply completed my acquaintance with the three great oceans of the world.

After making a decision to a split residence between Stockholm - during its best months from May to October and Cape Verde- during the winter months from November to April, we found ourselves owning a piece of seaside property in Sal island, in Cape Verde. Having a dual residence became a real possibility. It is not unique as many already enjoy a similar arrangement of living in two places where they enjoy a better quality of life. I am from the tropics and I have experienced life where both land and sea are accessible without spending too much flight hours. But to continue a new life in a new place is more interesting because I have already unburdened myself of the many baggages of the past. The land of my birth where the bones of my loved ones rest has become unlovable. I need a new place to nourish my heart and allow my mind to remain active and questioning.

In 2010 I said goodbye to a job I was fairly content with. But I didn't like the petty bureaucracy of the workplace. I don't like dealing with a bunch of mediocres. I welcomed the freedom to choose what I want to do, not because I have to but because I would like to. I also said goodbye to my house where once there was love and family, but they no longer resided in what was once a home. I tore myself away from many distilled memories of the past kept in boxes but I took the best ones and kept them in my heart.

I am open to new surprises that come with the change of lifestyles, in particular the sudden possibility of owning a yacht and sailing the Atlantic from Las Palmas to Cape Verde. I have always had images of glamour and adventure attached to sailing. It was indeed the biggest adventure of my life. Everything else I did in the past as a journalist covering insurgency and separatist wars or doing peace and conflict research in war-torn Bosnia are pale by comparison. If I survived a difficult sailing in a tempestuous ocean then I believe that I just earned the right to a few more years of adventure, but I will choose the waters to cross.

I can say that the year 2010 has been a good one. It showed me that choices in life have no limits except those imposed on oneself. The ability to change no matter how uprooting the feeling that comes with changing entitles one to the joys of self triumph over achievements made, big and small. It is the defining moment of true character.

I welcome 2011 with as much vigour and anticipation for new things to keep heart and mind in balance. The outside world is facing the perils of extremism, but in my world - if I have the choice, I would like to moderate time's speed so that I can savour the coming and passing of more years and the many moments that make my life complete and happy.#

Living Cape Verdean

It has been a little over two weeks since we arrived in Sta. Maria, Sal in our nine-day Atlantic voyage from Gran Canaria. There are no significant changes in the island since ten months ago when we first set our foot in Sal. The same town centre, African shops selling handicrafts and paintings, restaurants and cafes, the reggae music in the evenings and most of all the great turquoise ocean in all its panoramic beauty dotted by sailboats and fishermen boats gently rocking with the waves.

Our boat, Y/S Sheilah is anchored nearby within sight from our beach flat's balcony. It is neighbour to three Catamarans owned by Germans, Dutch and one without any flag. Ours have the Swedish flag but we will register it here and it will have the C.V. flag as well. Our crewmember Steven lives in the boat. Occasionally he comes to shore with the surfboard or the dinghy, or swims to shore.

Getting things functioning in this island has taught us the meaning of "No stress". People don't want to get stressed. They like an unhurried life at their own tempo. When I went to the bank to change some Euro into smaller denomination, they didnt have the cash. Then I went to CV Telecom to inquire about an internet connection. I was told we had to be a company in order to get a connection. It seems that they don't trust residential tourists who come and go, meaning-they own residential flats but are not full-time residents.

There are no mailboxes to drop letters. You have to go to the post office and give your letters to a postal employee. I asked how we could get our mails because there are no postmen delivering them. I was told they are sent to the reception of the Porto Antigo administration. Then the streets don't have names. Our favourite pub is called Tam Tam, owned by an Irish. So we call the street Tam Tam street. On the same street one finds two internet cafes charging 1Eur for 30 minutes.

At sundown, we can see from our balcony the local surfers - one with a dog on his board, swinging high and low with the waves. The local pier is the liveliest part of Sta Maria because it is the landing place for all fish catches where they are cleaned before they are sold or delivered to restaurants. From this pier, the divers and tourists take the yellow submarine and then transfer to the bigger motorsailers. There is a favourite diving place where a Russian ship was deliberately sunk for the divers' delight.

I suppose that a major reason for the "No stress" quality of the Cape Verdean people is that they never had to fight any wars of liberation. They were a colony of Portugal just like Mozambique, Angola, Guinea Bissau, Sao Tome but they got their independence without bloodshed in 1975. They promote tourism especially in Sal where a booming property development is happening but there seem to be no hurry in simplifying its investment rules.

It is a country of nine populated islands. Each island has its own landscape, vegetation and local industries. There is a population of half-a-million Cape Verdeans living in these islands and as many live overseas, mainly in the USA. Living in Sta. Maria, Sal means allowing time to settle in you without the limitations of space and self-expectations. Like the sellers of African arts and paintings, who don't press you for a buy, you don't press yourself for daily accomplishments in a country where you don't see or hear much of politics and politicians. There's that freedom to do nothing and nothing means no shame or disgrace.#

The Atlantic voyage-from Canaria to Cape Verde

In life some things happen without the benefit of elaborate planning and these are the occasions that give the most satisfaction and feeling of achievement. The outcome of unintended happenings that extend beyond the hours of the day create all kinds of feelings, anxieties and excitement over one´s dear life.

Our Atlantic sailing voyage from Gran Canaria to Sal in Cape Verde was not a grand ambition to prove our ability to do better than others. It was going to be the start of a long holiday in a new place in West Africa where my life partner and I intend to spend half the year in residence. We want an easier lifestyle after many years of working and of being contributive members of the human community. We discovered Sta. Maria in Sal - one of Cape Verde's ten populated islands in West Africa last January and we knew right then and there that it would be a home for us. It is a piece of paradise, so achingly beautiful.

To go to Sal by sailing was not planned at all. In the beginning it was the thought of starting an inter-island shipping that sent us looking at cargo boats in Sweden and Norway. We also looked at several motorsailers but to sail from Sweden to Cape Verde was going to be one hell of a challenge.

After searching for vessels of various sizes and brands, I found an Ericson 36 cruiser moored in Las Palmas, Canary Island. It was owned by a Canadian who sailed her single-handed to New Zealand and the Caribbean. The yachting company who was selling it is infact a dear old friend of my partner who moved from Sweden and settled down in las Palmas. I thought it was some Divine intervention that led me to find the perfect boat to take us to our paradise island.

We stayed 15 days in Las Palmas preparing the boat - then called Afriki, for the Atlantic voyage. The boat was moored in the marina called Muelle Deportivo in the heart of Las Palmas' popular harbour. Three days prior to our departure, I had the Afriki name removed and I myself painted the boat´s new name, Sheilah. Finally in Nov. 12th, we sailed out of Canaria on a bright sunny day. We found a third crew member Steven, a Danish who was looking for sailing adventure as well.

After the 6th hour, we were out of the tip of Canary island and had now been almost alone in the huge Atlantic ocean. It was a humbling experience to feel so small in the midst of such an infinity. Then we felt that although the wind favoured our course, the ocean swell was building up in strength. The first three days were extremely difficult because the main sail was ripped in the middle and the tear got bigger. Then the boom's shackle got loose from its hook. It was swinging to extreme sides. I was helpless to help as I was battling with nausea and sea sickness.

On the third day, I wanted the call SOS to pick me up and take me to any nearest port. I had the bad luck of an accident on the first evening. I was down the saloon when the boat dipped suddenly to one side throwing me against the kitchen edge. I thought I got a fractured lower rib. I nourished the bruise for the whole trip's duration unable to breathe without pain. I could not eat for 5 days. I drank only water and juice and even that was an ordeal. We forgot hunger and appetite. It didn't help that we were fully stuffed with food. I subsisted on meager bites of hard bread. The mere thought of food made me vomit.

It was about the 7th day when I had a real meal, we three actually. Steven cooked some rice and sausages. I found it difficult to eat as I felt like having gone through a hunger strike for a week. On the 8th day - after so much trouble with sails and the continued rocking motion, I braved myself and cooked pasta with meatballs. So, on that day we eat together all three of us, in the cockpit - our spirits buoyed by the thoughts that we were only one day away from land.

It was Sunday morning when we sighted Sal, a tiny shadow from a distance. We were so happy and so relieved that we were going to be fine finally. We arrived in Sta. Maria at around 17.00 p.m. It is hard to describe how we felt at this moment. Words are not always enough for great emotions. Sal was, is beautiful. Its turquoise waters a comforting sight for eyes grown tired from seeing only the hard swells of the ocean.

Having gone through this voyage is for me the best test in endurance and spirit, in not losing hope amidst tremendous difficulty and in staying close with the power greater than all men. My
belief in my guiding saint has never been stronger and I felt that She never abandoned me when I needed her most. My life companion - who apologised profusely for taking me on this trip instead of flying direct to Sal without trouble, said that the experience could only strengthen the feelings we have for each other. Hopefully, this is going to be the worst we shall have to face. #

Las Palmas de Canaria's sunny embrace

The journey to the Atlantic, specifically to Cape Verde in West Africa took a detour. My co-traveller and SO (significant other) arrived in Las Palmas Oct. 26th - to claim ownership of Afriki, an Ericson 36 boat formerly owned by a Canadian who has spent many years exploring new territories, including Asia and later New Zealand. We bought the boat without having seen her, based on her pictures on a website about Boats and Yatchs for Sale.


Las Palmas is everything the promoters of tourism about sun says, plus a bit more. It is a favourite retirement place of boat-addicted seniors who got tired of Sweden and its very structured lifestyle. We met Dennis and Ulrika - both Swedes who never left Las Palmas since falling in love with the place 15 years ago. The place is extremely generous to seniors even with healthcare services. Living in a boat is cheap compared to a flat or house. One pays a daily harbour fee of seven EUR which is about 2,700 a month. How much does a flat cost in Sweden?

The boat is still Afriki, until we get its new name painted. It is a very spacious boat with lots of compartments for storing things. It can easily sit 10 people outside for dinners and drinks and another 8 inside. It is a perfect home for two people. The sleeping areas are also generous and can accommodate 6 people. It is equipped with fishing lines which is very important for our plan in Sal - special fishing expeditions.

The first problem we met was the non-functioning stove which made us dependent for coffee on our Swedish neighbours Dennis and Ulrika. At this writing, my SO is battling with the kitchen connections, possibly dismembering the connections. I escaped to Barabordo to do my IT and have a great lasagne lunch. Alone! We'll probably stay a bit more in Las Palmas. It feels so easy and stressfree.

On sunsets when we pop open a bubble ( wine and alcohol are really cheaper than in Sweden's Systembolaget's), we don't talk much and simply savour the gift of a changed lifestyle that allows us to learn not just about a boat and her attributes but about each other. It is surprising that getting to know someone actually takes longer than love at first sight.#

Life like a river

"Que sera sera" is the world of dreams beyond the narrow confines of young adulthood - an unescapable stage in one's life where parental supervision limits the wildness of the mind from seeking adventures beyond what is considered attainable. A small town girl opens her wings and soars the heights of the sky for an unknown destination where dreams could turn into reality. "Que sera sera" is an act of daring, a plunge into uncertainty, a leap of faith with nothing more than one's belief in oneself.

To be young and reckless in the name of adventure and growing up is life's biggest gift to those who believe that everything is possible and that "if there's a will, there's a way". Countless people have succeeded in overcoming limited spaces and resources. Think how many great technologies were conceived in humble college dormitories. And look at how Facebook has revolutionised social media.

How can one be young forever so that new discoveries in life, new meanings could continue despite setbacks. Dreaming as well as living is not one fluid movement like the river. When one is alone, there's no stopping one's search for something or someone. But family, career and relationships create a new dimension in one's search for life's meanings not just for one's self but with loved ones. Growing older helps to create a clearer view of life's destination and how best to navigate to get there.

What happens when the river flow takes a bend? Dreams are broken because relationships fall by the wayside and the dreamer may or may not accept to wake up and take the consequence. There are some who find failures easier to deal with by going along with the main current rather than finding some small outlet where life can find a new meaning that is different from the rest of the world.

How difficult would it be to live in both dream and reality after many moons and river bends? Is there something like middle age romance with life where time is no longer of essence, where a happening continues without interruptions and where love redefines time according to moments of happiness. The truest meaning of life comes from losing more than once and finding at the very end of the river flow just before joining the ocean, a steady skipper to sail a boat and hold one's hand when the sea goes rough. #

A victory with a hard challenge

The non-Socialist Alliance government won a second mandate and Moderate leader Fredrik Reinfeldt made history by winning a second term, although not as a majority party. It is a victory that comes with a new challenge and a difficult one - that of creating government stability with the entry into parliament of rightist Sverige Demokraterna party or SD.

In my own interpretation of the results of the 2010 Swedish national elections, I could say that the electorate voted the Alliance continuity in power because it would be senseless and stupid to jeopardise the country's economic performance by changing political leadership. It is needless to repeat the same argument that without a growth-oriented economy, Sweden's welfare state system cannot survive especially not with the overwhelming cost of keeping social and economic equality.

The Alliance will continue as a minority government and it is here where the challenge of true leadership begins. Both political blocs will not have anything to do with the immigrant-hostile SD. Initially, Reinfeldt said that he would want to invite the Green Party or MP but which MP spokesperson Maria Wetterstrand dismissed. It would appear amateurish for both political blocs to show weakness or lack of vision in tackling any lead negotiating role the SD could have in parliament. I think that across the bloc cooperation can be achieved on an issue to issue basis, especially those that concern the general interest of the people.

The small margin of win that the Alliance government have is also a strong reminder to look into the root cause of discontent that propelled the SDs into winning around 5.7 percent of parliamentary seats. And why was SD particularly strong in places such as Skåne. Whatever is ailing the population in places where SD got its votes should be seriously looked into by both political blocs. It is not enough to curse SD's win as well as its appeal that won voters. It is crucial to seek cure for the malady that created an SD.

In being a minority government, the Swedish electorate also sent a reminder that winning and continuity in power should not be taken for granted and that those who will continue governing cannot do so in great comfort. The political landscape of Sweden is changing, the composition of the Swedish voters have also changed, especially generationally. What is the expectation of half-a-million first-time voters when they cast their votes? What kind of future will they have?

The Swedish immigration issue is a very thorny question that has been left unanswered by both political blocs. And yet problems of immigration have gotten so complicated that there is no clear policy on asylum and refugees. The refugee burden-sharing mechanism among EU-member states is not equal as there are certain EU countries that refuse to increase their intake quota of asylum seekers.

It is a new era in Swedish politics after this election, one that will not allow any genuine leadership to take for granted the democratic decision of the majority. The new era demands innovation if not imagination in terms of actions and responses to new challenges unfolding in Sweden's social and political landscape. Today, it is not enough to have an ideology based on equality if the burdens of keeping that equality is not shared by all. The saying: "Some are more equal than others" has no place in true democracy.#

Voting for Alliance' continued good economic governance

I was in Gdansk, Poland in Sept. 2008 when the world came to a shattering financial crash that originated from United States mismanagement of certain economic sectors. For a country such as Sweden that is highly dependent upon its foreign trade where the US is a major trading partner, this financial shutdown was catastrophic, to say the least.

Then and there, no one was safe and secured with their jobs and there would be no welfare to cushion the effects of a massive economic retrenchment.The most amazing thing that happened was that, no one in Sweden felt threatened with loss of job, home and financial security. There were hard measures taken by the Alliance government but they were not as drastic as those needed by other EU countries whose financial systems were collapsing.

In today's SvD opinion page, Maria Eriksson wrote a very good summary on why we should support the Alliance by voting their continuity in power. She wrote: " One election, two alternatives. One has implemented four job tax reduction incentives and intends to proceed with a fifth against three parties that will undo all these income tax incentives. An alliance that knows that it is the industries that create jobs and welfare. And a RedGreen alternative whose politics oppose private initiatives in the health and school sectors, introduce rights to fulltime yearly equality planning, wealth taxation and increased employers fee for the youth."

The latest SIFO political barometer shows a closing of the gap between the two blocks although the Alliance still has the majority. In the more recent interviews of political leaders, the central issue of the economy was somewhat sidetracked by questions on sickness insurances. Eriksson writes further, and I fully agree that the election on Sunday is not a question of reduced taxes or social welfare but of the continuity of a good economy, in private as well as in public.

"Sweden is on its way out of the crisis, according to an article by The Economist. Half of the country's economy is dependent upon foreign trade which means that Sweden was deeply affected by the world economic backlash. But as The Economist has written, Sweden this year has achieved a GNP stronger than any country in the OECD area. The Swedish voters should appreciate and reward the competence with which the Alliance handled an extremely difficult period.

That Sweden is on its way out of an economic crisis is due mainly to the performance of the Alliance government. This means that the healthy recovery of the economy should continue to be managed by the same people that got the country out of a deep quagmire. In these times of uncertain world peace and order, it is economic growth that is the best weapon against terrorism and radicalism. The opposite is poverty and desperation that induce fanaticism and bigotry.#

Who gets my vote!

From Sept 1, Swedish voters may begin to cast their votes in selected places - usually in post offices. The two political blocks composed of the Non-socialist alliance which is currently in power is being challenged by the opposition Socialist red-green coalition. The electoral race is tight and the Non-Socialist block has had a 6.7 percent lead against the Socialist red-green coalition which has desperately sought and identified the undecided groups in order to level the fighting field.

The problem with the Socialist red-green block is that, it has been reacting mostly to certain crucial issues in the governing Non-Socialist alliance election platform. Tax reduction incentives have been trumpeted for basically the same population segments: the pensioners, the low and medium wage earners, the employers who are admonished to employ the young between the ages of 18 and 24, as well as certain service branches like restaurants and hairdressers. There is also an invitation - mostly for women, to start companies in the health and nursing sectors through a start-up capital. The Socialist's detailed position on many isues have not always been clear and straightforward.

When it comes to family politics, both blocks are ardently courting young families with children with infectious and hard to deny offers of state-subsidised parental equality when it comes to sharing maternity and paternity leaves of absences; child custody allowances which includes leaves of absence from work due to caring of a sick child at home. There is the idea of imposing quota for the division of parental leaves after a child's birth. A quota is about the worst idea one can think of. The care of a newborn child, up until a year when he or she can be placed in a daycare center should be left to the decision of both parents, especially if they are both working and have successful careers that need balancing with family life.

As for the reduced income tax payments of pensioners, it is high time that all the politicians took cognizance of an issue that has been relegated to the waste basket in previous elections. It is my contention that the pensioners have already been taxed highly during their active working years and that their pensions are well-earned benefits to secure a decent life in their old age. True, there are many retirees who are economically above the average. But a majority are definitely on the margin so much so that, there is not much left in the wallet after payment of monthly dues for housing, medical care and food. In Sweden, one must have worked for 40 years in order to get a decent retirement pension.

Since the electoral race is very close and the undecided remain undecided, the biggest labor organisation LO that has been a partner of the Social Democratic party decided to use a "dirtier" campaign strategy - that of posters showing pictures of all the leading Alliance politicians upside down. The LO chairman was quoted as saying that the race is too close that they (LO) needed to be more aggressive describing each competitor in a negative way. Some observers feel offended that this campaigning is targetting the person much more than the politics in question. I believe there could be a backlash instead of a mass appreciation for what looks like a bad losers' attitude.

Looking and comparing the various issues and specific proposals of each block, it appears that the Socialist red-green coalition will have to raise more taxes to finance all the tax reduction incentives it plans to implement. It will be higher income tax for a particular population segment; gas, cigarette and alcohol consumption; property ownerships of houses and villas, among many others. The Socialist red-green coalition will also removed the so-called "Rut" household subsidy which is the 50 percent cost reduction for employment of household help such as cleaners. This has been a very helpful subsidy to working families who cannot find enough time to do household work because of job and childcare demands. It is also employment-generating especially for immigrants who want to work but have difficulties finding jobs.

So comes the big question of whom I should vote for, who will continue Sweden's egalitarian welfare society where rights and responsibilities are equally shared among citizens regarding of creed, colour and class; where there are no special groups that receive greater privileges; where all citizens respect and accept the dominant social and cultural norms of the Swedish way of life and where power and democracy reside in the people and not in the political parties and labour unions' collective decision making apparatus. I want to live in a society where I am accepted as an individual and not a mere cog in the giant collective wheel of power.

There are certainly major global issues such as climate, poverty, elimination of nuclear bombs and weapons of mass destruction, religious fanaticism and terrorism that require international cooperation and solidarity. But it is my firm belief that regardless of which political block wins this coming election, Sweden's position on all these global issues remains unassailable.#

Making and keeping friendships

In all the languages of the world nothing is more beautiful than the language of love and friendship. Love is often fickle and unpredictable, but some friendships grow and deepen with time. We go through life as collectors of things and people we encounter along the way. We are lucky when we find real gems in our acquisitions because they have proven the longest staying power. Friendship is not quantitative but qualitative and the latter is proven only after the endurance of time while going through life's phases of fortunes and misfortunes.

Many successful people are sorrounded by friends who love to be associated with success, fame and money. This is all natural as bees are lured by honey. One gets a supreme feeling of security in having so many friends celebrating every event of achievement. Yet how many stay when times get bad. How many are there to comfort a friend who lost a loved one, someone who is suddenly stricken with a terminal disease or who lost a fortune because of bad business decision or because a well-paid job became expendable.

There is a distinction between acquintances and friends. Many acquaintances are formed in workplaces, during travels and brief encounters in different places. It is a parade of passing faces where there is no strong impulse to further a relationship to the level of friendship. Somehow, somewhere in the heart there is a tiny voice that says when a person could become a lifelong friend. Unlike love that sparks with passion, friendship is rational and comes with a good feeling of liking and of seeing the prospect of a friendship that will endure.

I cannot count more than five people that I consider to be my true friends. (This is outside my family where love and friendship, along with parenthood are strong bonds that connect our lives.) Do I consider myself poor that in all my years of working, travelling and meeting peoples of many colours and creed, I should end up with a handful of people I am confortable to call my friends? I am sure that outside the magic number I have right now, there are others who have been good friends at one time or another. But they didn't stay. Worst, time has imposed a barrier and there was no attempt to bridge that distance. A few very good friends in media have passed away and that has left some emptiness.

To be a friend has some demands of keeping the relationship alive, that it is nurtured and never left to the vagaries of humour and weather. There are not so many occasions for reunions with old friends especially when many have busy lifestyles and families. But when a reunion takes place in one's home or in a restaurant for dinner, it is guaranteed to be a happy encounter of fun and laughter fuelled by stories of adventures and misadventures from some decades back. There is the never-ending tales of the heart, of love affairs that had no closures, of poverty in school allowances, of being exotic foreigners with black hair in a population of blonds and blue eyes.

It is true that we went through the hard years of learning to survive in a foreign country, of mastering a new language and culture and of absorbing the best there is without losing our own identities. We've known what it is to be poor students, to compete for excellence and to grow wiser in the choices we made along the way. "We were so poor then, but we were happy"! And I asked: "And today... some 35 years later, we are a little richer, we had successful careers, met and married good men and have children whose world is more different than the one we had some decades ago. The friendship that started then has grown richer from sharing life's many situations. And the best part is that, we can laugh at all the mistakes made without losing pride. #

The Swedish election: rational but passionless

The 2010 national election in Sweden on Sept 19th is just 18 days away and the two major coalitions - the non-Socialist alliance which is currently in power and the Socialist's red-green coalition are grappling with basically the same issues that all elections in the past have tackled: jobs, welfare, schools, healthcare and taxes. What differentiates the two blocks are the priorities undertaken and the beneficiaries of tax incentives and reductions.

As indicated in most of the political barometers, the governing non-Socialist alliance has taken the lead over the opposition Socialist red-green coalition. Without going into any specific analysis on this trend, the easiest conclusion on why the non-Socialists are getting greater confidence from the electorate is how they handled the economy during the 2008 financial crisis. That they succeeded in implementing measures that cushioned the impact of the economic world turbulence on Sweden's economy is a remarkable success. Several EU-member countries are finding it difficult to immerse from budgetary deficits and without help from international and European financial institutions, could sink into a quagmire.

The non-Socialist alliance has been a successful model of a united political platform , that is to say - one voice on most issues of concern to the Swedish electorate: employment and job incentives which means that work is more beneficial than social welfare dependency. Taxes of low-income earners were considerably reduced and new job creation incentives were introduced. The other priority areas are the schools and healthcare sectors - how much more in additional budget would they be getting in consideration of the growing population of old people and the increasing number of babies needing placements in daycare centers.

Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt in the recent launching of the non-Socialist alliance platform promised further tax reduction, especially to the older people whose highly- taxed low pension has been a constant source of discontent. The economy permitting, he has set an ambition goal to lower further income taxes thereby inducing new jobs through lower employer's fees. The opposition Socialist red-green coalition wants to raise taxes to finance the needs of various sectors, which could lead to greater welfare dependency. The message is that, it does not pay to work because one could get as much through unemployment benefits and it will be more expensive for employers to hire due to expensive social costs.

The issue of taxes hits the main pulse of every voter and it is as close as it gets to becoming an emotional issue. If there is any criticism that can be made in the increasing tempo of the election campaign, it is the lack of emotional appeal of the election slogans made by each party and the two blocks. Slogans don't grab one's attention and don't ignite any enthusiasm. Compared to most elections in other countries where there is a life and death struggle to be heard, to convince and to win, the Swedish elections - including this forthcoming one is bereft of passion and conviction. It is too rational that it actually forgets how emotional some issues are to many voters especially those living on the margin of society.#

The right to live..and to die with dignity

The right to live...and to die with dignity is an issue of critical dimension that continues to challenge those in power to act not simply out of humane considerations but in accordance with the law. Life is sacred as all religions declare and precious in the name of everything that is good in humanity.

In Sweden, the right to end one's life - of persons whose daily sustenance comes mainly from tubes attached to machines, has been a long-standing debate in the medical, as well as political communities. There are a number of cases that came to light in the media where certain individuals have been kept alive for many years through palliative care, who have no hopes of ever getting better and where pain and suffering get worse as days pass. They have expressed the desire to die, or be allowed to die. It is often an agonishing familymember who plead with the physician for suicide help.

Recently the case of a person who has been kept articifially alive was brought to court and challenged the National Health Board - the highest Swedish decisionmaking body, to make a decision to grant the right to die.

The outcome may have favoured one particular case but the issue on granting one's desire to die with dignity has yet to become legally acceptable.

There are complicating factors that do not allow a simple legal interpretation of one's right to die with dignity. There are many cases where the person no longer have the capacity to express the will to die, so that it is the family that interprets that will. If there is no written testament to the effect that the person concerned has infact stated the will to end his life or be allowed to die with dignity, then it would be the words of living relatives that have to be validated. Are those words expressed out of selfless love or are they motivated by interests other than those of the person lying in a comatose condition.

Persons living less than half a-life or hanging to the barest thread of life for many years in hospitals are more visible to a greater number of people who are part of the medical and nursing staff. There are however, less visible cases who are in long-term nursing homes who may or may not be palliative cases. There is one particular case where I have had professional experience in nursing. She had been a well-known personality in the academic community and had authored books. A severe stroke caused by the death of her husband sent her to into a state of helpless immobility. She had to be fed through a tube in her stomach. But she was conscious of everything around her and she reacted to music, people around her, things of beauty like nature when she is taken out in the park.

One summer day, the nursing staff was informed that the woman's children wanted their mother to end her life because according to them, it was her expressed desire not to go on living. This was a most unusual situation and most of those involved in the caring work did not immediately comprehend the depth of this case, nor did many understand that it was going to be a difficult ethical and moral dilemma for all those involved in looking after her.

It dawned on some after some days that their religion could not accept being a part of an assisted self-suicide case. Such individual protests were muffled and those with psychological problems in dealing with the day-to-day care of the woman were advised to see a psychologist.

It took a month for this person to finally die and during all those days, she was deprived of food and was only given water and morphine. She could not talk, but her face spoke of the pain and anguish she was going through. This case shattered the morale of the people working in the unit and sent several on sick leave from psychological breakdown. The working morale of the staff hit the bottom and much later came a reorganisation of the unit itself. What was inconceivable in this case was how the highest leadership of this organisation agreed to let this happen when the law forbids assistance in self-suicide.

While the issue of the right to die with dignity remains a bone of contention, there are less visible cases going on in the less exposed nursing homes, where so-called palliative cases are found. In general they are cases of persons who are extremely sick, who are just waiting for their time to go. They get the care they need in terms of food, quietude and company though not of medicine. But who really knows what goes on in many nursing homes.#

A royal wedding that stole everyone's heart

Weddings are occasions guaranteed to melt even the hardest of hearts. It is a moment of pure happiness for two people becoming one, as each promise the other that in the battles to be fought ahead, one will never be alone and that triumphs are sweeter because they are shared.

"Love Stockholm" lifted the spirit of a city that needed to be reminded of the abundance of feelings in every inhabitant no matter how much problem each has to face in order to survive life's daily challenges. The preparations made for the wedding of Crown Princess Victoria took more than a year and the last four weeks were devoted to the minutest details, so that the ceremony from start to end would suffer no blunder. And everything did go well and perfect as befitting a couple who defied certain traditions in order for love to triumph. Princess Victoria had chosen her "Prince" from the people, in a remote town in northern Sweden. And she thanked the people with all her heart's conviction when she said: " I thank the Swedish people who gave me my prince."

I am not a royalist at heart because I believe that monarchies are a relic of the past and therefore anachronistic. Ordinary people find sustenance in their daydreaming as they follow the lives of the royals and the famous, which is understandable. To escape dreary moments in a day and float with dreams of wealth and fame allow many, especially women, to find refuge even relief from the eternal damnation of being poor and marginal.

The Swedish monarchy has maintained a strong decorum of morality and propriety. There has been no scandals that feed hungry tabloids involving the lifestyle of the royal children. They have been good ambassadors of goodwill for a small country that is constantly on its toes when it comes to competitions in the world market. It is indeed acceptable when one comments that the monarchy provides continuity, where the new relies on the old for wisdom and where the old accepts vigour from the new.

Yesterday, as I swam through a crowd of people in Kungsträgården to get to a boat moored beside the National Museum, I was convinced of the joy the people had to see their princess at a close range. I was rushing to join my captain who drove a boat carrying 80 people who were celebrating a less royal wedding. There was no distinction when it came to the genuine expression of love in both weddings, love that is so strong and powerful it sweeps away all the uncertainties in this troubled times. I saw the tail of the day's magnificent celebration and listened to Prince Daniel publicly acknowledge his love for Victoria and his gratitude to the elder from whom drew the best in himself. It cannot be denied that even without the pageantry of royalty, the quality of love between Victoria and Daniel is pure gold. #

The amazing moments of love

In this life, we are all subjected to the alternate forces of heat and cold, of rain and sunshine and of hate and love. There is always resistance to accepting the two sides that like a magnet pulls us towards opposite directions. There are times when life seems drawn to the deep ends of sadness and frustration and a feeling of defeat appears inevitable. Everything and everywhere, things just seem to go wrong no matter how much we struggle to get out of the quagmire.

Whatever the reasons there are for sinking into the lowest feelings of abandonment are numerous because bad times seem to collect everything that is unwanted in the immediate environment. Things are bad in the workplace where bosses are incompetent and lacking in empathy; hard work and accomplishments are not appreciated and worse, they create jealousy and competition. If they were not enough, the home which is the refuge from all evils outside is empty of compassion and affection. The other half is probably suffering from the same frustration so that the capacity for understanding and consoling each other become a heavy burden of the moment.

How does one leave behind feelings of frustration and anger and change into another person when one comes home? It would be a rational thing to do because whoever is the other person waiting at home does not really deserve to get the outburst of bad humour. How does one cool down, shed off that battered skin like a snake and come out fresh with a new person incarnated? Everyday comes this challenge of changing oneself for the sake of other persons dear to us. What we want to share is not anger against the mismanagement of the world we live in. We want to share the best in ourselves, the part where the heart is unaffected by hatred and anger.

Coming home to a loved one is always the highlight of a day - whether bad or good. To feel the warmth of an embrace that wipes out all the anxieties of the day, to sit close to each other and watch the sun fading from the horizon as the night settles down, to listen to the softness of tender love words and to forget everything else because nothing really matters at such moments of togetherness. These are the amazing moments of love and no words are necessary - not to explain why or to reason out. Love has many amazing moments for hearts open to receive and reciprocate.#

(This piece is especially inspired by the launching of LOVE Stockholm in celebration of the wedding of the Crown Princess Victoria on June 19th).

Taming a season of disaster

Is it a rule in life that problems can occur like the bursting of a dam and pull a person apart in different directions in order to respond to situations needing immediate action. Most times life seems like a straight line that has no sharp ups and downs and the movement is like a soft flowing river. And then from nowhere comes barriers and there is no longer fluidity but a harshness to get through the obstacles.

The arrival of spring in this part of the world has been delayed by the obstinacy of a winter that refused to go. In the process of waiting for the coming of a new season, a natural disaster in the form of a volcanic eruption took place in neighbouring Iceland and sent ashes in all directions. Many European countries were forced to stop all flights and passengers were stranded in airports without immediate alternative transportation. The eruption may have slowed down but it is not altogether sure if the angry volcano will not spew out more ashes.

If it were not enough with a natural catastrophe, the next was a man-made disaster that sent shock waves down Europe's spine. It was (is) the news of Greece imminent financial collapse that pummeled all stock markets to fall to the level of the 2008 financial crisis. If there was a modest recovery made in the last six months in terms of improved share prices, all that simply went down the drain. A huge question comes up on why and how one country like Greece could affect strongly other economies, as well as financial markets. But as any educated guess one can make, there are no national borders when it comes to money and finances.

As ordinary people that most of us are, we find ourselves affected in various ways by the external world where we have little or no influence at all. In the immediate world we live in - with the nearest concerns of work and family, the battles fought are the effects of the bigger world's happenings. Many jobs disappear in the market, companies use retrenchment policies to reduce cost and inflation sends the prices of commodities and services up. The stress brought about by all these untamed happenings is too unbearable that happiness becomes elusive.

If the coming of spring as a season is delayed, the feeling of delay is magnified by a sense of lethargy that holds back our own life's renewal. It is the feeling of being stuck under a rock because there are just too many things going on all at the same time. The opposite side of that rule in life - if indeed it is life's natural course, would be the sudden arrival of many things that bring about happiness and joy. A basket of rotten eggs becomes a basket of golden eggs. If that is how life proceeds then one can only hope that we can tame sooner the hostilities of a season of disaster.#

The unbeatable lightness of being

I have long wanted to borrow the famous title of this blog. But the circumstance that best describes that "being of lightness" has not come to light, as I would have wanted to. Over the last couple of days, I was thrown in a state of constant time change - from the past to the present and back to the past. Some past brings the jewel of that time and others the debris to be thrown away in the dustbin of history.

Having succeeded to depart once and for all from insignificance of past times - where I thought I made serious contribution to changing the order of things in a little part of the universe, I was summoned to face the challenges of the present. In less poetic language, the ordeal of buying and selling properties became the agenda of the day. First, was completion of the final purchase of a dream seaside flat in Cape Verde, which took hours in the bank. The financial scene has been hazardous for the weak-hearted because the stock market simply skidded down due to the plunging economy of Greece. And the Euro currency wavered. This was bad news, really!

After having succeeded to do away with a sizable life saving to own a dream property in the Atlantic, came the next challenge - that of selling two properties, both of which required a considerable amount of work to empty and renovate. May is a perfect season to sell properties in Sweden, when the trees have young leaves and spring flowers are at their brightest.

In the midst of solving such trivialities of common living came questions that relate to people in the nearest scope of the family. Few days ago, my grandson was christened on a bright beautiful spring day. A wonderful ceremony that radiated with so much love and affection. Matters of family and heart are always overwhelming. But there is always an opposite to happy moments when the heart feels once again some sorrow for those no longer around to share such happy moments.

Three years ago, specifically on the 8th of May I got an early message that my only brother died. I could not attend to his last rites and I am indebted to Satur, my first husband who was there to represent us during this difficult hour. My brother has five daughters, but unfortunately they were not around when he needed them most. This wound in my heart has not healed, because I cannot conceive in all rational thinking how children - daughters especially could be unfeeling towards a parent in his last hours of life.

A week later, my husband of 25 years died after a lingering cancer illness. This was a deeper stab in my heart and I didn't for once think that I would get through living. I saw my world collapsing with tons of debris over me. It felt okay then to let go as I have already lived a substantially good life. But somehow, I survived all the pains of losing and allowed myself a chance to pick up pieces, glue them as best I could and look at the world with a bit of lightness and optimism. And because I opened my heart to the sky, I felt the glow of sunshine enter my life and the shadows of the past slowly disappeared.

When I come closer to the 8th and 16th of May, I no longer feel the bitterness of losing, of knowing that I lost someone I loved dearly. In a span of three years a new life grew from within, just like the spring flowers edging out of the dead leaves of winter. Life is always there especially when we open up to welcome its renewal, season after season. And love never dies.#

The distance between the past and the present

I was in a time machine during the last many days, suddenly thrown back to the late 70s in particular. The dark days of martial law in the Philippines and how by some unexplainable circumstance I found myself assuming a very challenging but dangerous work as foreign correspondent for the Hongkong-based news weekly magazine Far Eastern Economic Review or FEER, a highly respected regional publication with unquestionable credibility in the media world.

Before being thrown into a new arena of struggle, I was dreaming of a foreign posting as foreign trade specialist in the Dept. of Trade, a position I fought hard and won hard via the usual examinations. But then, there was a hurdle to pass and it was getting the approval of the National Intelligence Authority or NISA, a powerful body with all the arsenal of Russia's KGB. As I have been a rebel student leader and therefore a "possible" subversive, that NISA blessing never came. On the other hand, I found myself in jail shortly after martial law was imposed. I didn't stay that long as a political detainee, but all those responsible for arresting me met horrible deaths within a period of a year.

Being a journalist during the long period of Marcos authoritarian rule was not just challenging and risky. There was a strong sense of purpose in digging for the truth, especially the abuses of the military in the countryside that were safely kept in convents and churches. Media gave much to the world without the sophistication of later day technologies such as the Google and other search engines that make life comfortable without leaving one's abode.

That the world was informed of the happenings in most parts of the world, and that many governments were dysfunctional and oppressive to its own, were tasks tackled with great dedication by people of the press.

What threw me back to this period were all the materials that came out of my storage rooms as I struggled to separate the meaningful from the meaningless collection of documents and personal mementos of the past. The separation process had been slow and tortuous because I could not find the measure of the past from the present. All of a sudden, the past became the present.

It is a philosophical question to ask if there is a distance between the past and the present and whether the past has its own force to return to the present and by what circumstance is totally unexpected.#

After winter... a new life

How many winters come to our lives, winters of varying strength that submerge our being into depths of unknown darkness and uncertainties. It is a beautiful season that sparkles with purity and brings about a feeling of struggle for rebirth, if only the will to overcome survives the test of endurance. But life has other winters that often try our utmost determination to dominate and win.

Life in the northern borders of Europe is governed by four seasons that epitomise the cycle of birth and death. After having survived a hard winter and the worst depression that comes with being trapped within oneself and one's own domain, there is that unmistakable feeling of dying and letting go life itself. What comes to each one is a re-examination of things done, an honest accounting of life made for a period of one year. Has it been fulfilling? What was it that was missed along the way in the madness of daily trivialities? Some things that had not been placed higher the order of priorities?

It has never occurred to me to re-examine how life has come and passed over a year. It was crowded with the usual tasks of a working life, of small family gatherings and celebrations which always bring the best in human emotions - that emotion of joy that there is no loneliness when one belongs to a family and a circle of good friends. Human interactions that come during these numerous occasions are always happy and re-assuring that in a world full of unpredictable events and unwanted catastrophes, one has the embrace of loved ones who share moments of joy and despair.

Not too long ago, I found myself in the deepest pit of despair after the loss of two loved ones. It is one thing to lose someone you love by mutual consent but another thing to lose against one's will. There is no way to fight against the designs of death whose arrival is never announced. Physical death is harder than the hardest winter because there is no hope that spring will bring back life that has left one's physical being. Such winters in life are much harder to bear.

I count the last fifteen months of the past year and early this year as the most dramatic in terms of whirlwind changes that catapulted me into life-changing decisions on how the next coming years and seasons are going to look like for me and the person I hope to be around in my life. After the loss and despair in the past, spring like the numerous small lilies sprouting under the debris of dead leaves has arrived. A heart deeply torn is mending slowly and the feeling is wonderful.

But there is plenty of re-ordering that has to be done. Over the years, my old home has been the sanctuary of everything that belonged to the family. I mean everything that came though various occasions of celebration that were safely tucked in places. They are distilled mementos of childhood and adulthood, of places visited, of people met along the way, of letters and photo albums to freeze moments of joy, books collected through time and the various roads taken that became faithful company when loneliness came at times and the mind hungered for challenge. It is not easy to part with things one has kept for such a long time.

It has been with such heavy heart deciding to let go so many wonderful mementos of the past. However, like the spring flowers struggling for life out of the debris of dead leaves, I must let go if spring has to come. There is mixed emotions of loss and anticipation, loss of things that were part of a great journey and anticipation that spring will arrive in a cleaner and fresher garden of life. For life to be born death must first take place. It is the cycle of life and we ride on with the that unbreakable will to dominate.#

Surviving stress

Stress is a huge psycho-social problem for many people living in developed countries like Sweden. The more I grapple with the particularities of the word in practical terms, the more I feel the weight of the word in actual life.

I didn't know the meaning of stress when I was living in the Philippines but when I look back at the life and death instances I have been in, stress as I understand now was a "walk in the park" in those days.

How do I deal with the periodic presence of stress that comes like an uninvited dinner guest? In my present workplace, I find it unavoidable to ignore stress - mostly physical stress owed to dealing with people who are sick and dying. Imagine how infectious the feeling is to be with old, sick, helpless and lonely people where no amount of music and cheering up can activate the heart; where the physical being has already given up on life and the only thing that remains is the hope of a final freedom from all pain and sufferings. This picture seen daily is excruciatingly stressful.

I go home at the end of the day feeling worn-out, my life exiting out of my body in a strange metamorphosis that is shapeless like a running river. I come home seeking a re-birth of my soul gone old and weary. How do I go through a transformation - like leaving dead skin by the doorstep and obtaining a fresh one in matters of minutes?

I find that the most effective antidote to stress is not any form of energy tablet or drink. It is something as abstract as love and affection, a sense of satisfaction that a good job was done, and most importantly that the people close to one's heart are happy in their own ways.

I came to an article today on how human touch works miracles against stress and against all forms of oppression one meets especially in the workplace. When I come home, I want to be showered with affection - to be caressed from head to foot, to feel the other person's warmth and longing. And then, that feeling of tiredness, of stress simply vanishes. Many go for luxury massage and spa treatment to get rid of that edgy, aging feeling. But, the simplest cure comes from the person who cares about you. Imagine how much it means even just to hold hands while you watch a not-so-sexy movie?

No, this is not being corny. In an egalitarian society like Sweden, the biggest social problem is loneliness. Too many people are living alone. There is no medicine for loneliness other than the company of another human being. Like the title of a recent French movie I saw, "Tillsammans är vi mindre ensam" ("Together, we are less alone."#

The other side of loving

The heart is the life-sustaining organ of the body and its most important function goes beyond its physiological reason for its being. It is the major locomotive that controls and regulates all forms of human emotions, of which love is the most powerful and all-encompassing. Without the heart one becomes heartless, take away love and the heart dies.

The topic of love is timeless. It is the Muse of all Muses. Everything in the world that is beautiful and worth living for is owed to the existence of love that lives in the heart. There is a symbiotic relationship between the heart and love and the delicate connection is held by a constant continuity called loving.

Loving is a precarious but exciting state of the heart. It is expressed in many hundred small things and deeds, some knowingly and others innocently. Some forms of loving are more desired than others depending upon the expectations placed on the emotion itself. Is it an absolute commitment fulfilled by acts of devotion and loyalty. Where is the limit? Who sets the limit of one's expectation. Is the limit mutually acceptable or does each one in the party of two have individual limits for manifesting acts of loving. Can one accept that one's limit is beyond the reach of the other person so that some measure of adjustment is needed.

The need to adjust limits and expectations often create disturbance in the state of loving. This is the other side of loving, the small challenges to face now and then when love slips into a state of sluggish comfort; when one forgets that love in all its whims and caprices is constantly seeking a confirmation of its presence. If one forgets a kiss before departing for work and at homecomings, it disrupts the harmony of loving and poses a question - silly as it seems, "Does he/she still loves me?" And if there is no reciprocal hugging at the end of the day, it feels like one came to a wrong home.

The home is indeed where the heart is - a common but still valuable cliche in love and in loving. It warms up the heart when one says to the other "You are my home, you have my heart and all the love it can muster". Hearing something like this erases instantly the battles one fights outside, the disappointments in the workplace, the grievances over perceived injustices and the nagging discontent over certain failures in the management of the planet Earth.

When the other person asks in a perplexed tone: "Why do we have to quarrel when there is so much love between us?" To this I answer with the certainty of knowing that spring comes after winter - no matter how long the snow and ice suppress the lilies from bursting out of the hard-frozen ground: "Because it is all part of loving".
(The picture is a painting of Gustav Klint's famous original "The Kiss".)

A different kind of poverty

In the Swedish Svenska Dagbladet today was an opinion column entitled "Swedish poverty has many faces" by Göran Skytte, which jolted my memory back to one of my graduate courses at the Stockholm University. We were then discussing the Swedish welfare state and what it has achieved over a 100- year period since it became the pillar of the social system. It was going to erase poverty and close the gap between the very rich and the very poor through an egalitarian system of wealth distribution.

This is through taxation in proportion to one's earning. The higher the wages and corporate profits, the more one pays to the tax authority. Welfarism consists of a social security system where the individual is state-protected from "cradle to coffin". It was going to erase poverty, including the word poverty from the Swedish dictionary of welfare state. This dream state was designed for a population then of around five million natural-born Swedes. It was not a huge unwieldy number of people to support with state generosity.

Today, the population make-up of Sweden has dramatically changed after the influx of refugee and asylum-seekers from Africa, the Middle East and the Balkan countries. Sweden opened its doors to people fleeing from war and accommodated as many it could take. The welfare state became over-burdened with social issues of integration, unemployment, religious fanaticism and a deteriorating economic situation for a majority of people living on the fringes of society.

This is what the social cancer the Swedish politicians call utanförskap or outsiders. They are mostly wards of the social system because they are economically poor. Despite the unemployment benefits, child subsidy, housing subsidy and other forms of state interventions - this new population group in Sweden are users rather than contributors in the welfare state system that is based on taxes. To be economically poor in a well-functioning welfare state is not the same poverty in comparison with those living in other parts of the world where one gets nothing from the state.

But the other kind of poverty we have ignored is the poverty of the soul, the spiritual bareness of the human self that is not easily discerned from outside. The material world has overwhelmed us with the tangible proof of success and prosperity that we are actually drowning from the weight of these things. When Mother Theresa took her Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she was alleged to have said: " This is a poor country". Wealth cannot be measured in the number of cars, big houses, luxury boats and material acquisitions. If one cannot spend a moment in prayer at the end of the day and if there is no soul that inhabits the physical self then we are indeed extremely poor. #

The other sisters in chains

Today more than any other time of the year, the world looks at the situation of women in certain cultures and countries. If half the women population has improved its position in society with the help of national legislations that recognise equality between men and women, the other half remains chained to medieval traditions where women existence is not even recognised.

What reminders have come out of the newspapers today? One is a collective call signed by well-known Swedish personalities urging the European Union to legislate harsher punishment committed against women in war-torn areas, such as sexual exploitation by peace-keeping soldiers in places like Bosnia, and the sexual violence committed by soldiers and militiamen against the women folk in places like Rwanda. It is now well-known that rape has become an instrument of torture in war zones. To stop sexual abuses of women in countries at war means that war itself has to be stopped. That in itself is a major agenda.

Putting aside the situation of women in war areas in Africa and the Middle East where sexual violence is a daily routine and focusing on women condition in peaceful modern societies, many women are victims of domestic violence - that is to say, violence in the hands of their nearest kin. The statistics on domestic violence is not going down. On the contrary, it has been steadily rising along with other social ailments related to unemployment, drug and alcohol abuse and the transplanting of medieval social and religious practices in European soil, where women are literally still in chains. How else would one describe a mask that shows only the eyes of the woman?

The other gender inequalities such as unequal wages between men and women, or less women leaders in the corporate world are daily fights to take up and chances are that, the social structures that create these barriers will eventually diminish. But the removal of chains imposed by religion and tradition is a harder challenge because it will question the men's superiority in these cultures. As for sexual violence in war areas, the agenda is stopping war itself. And that is the hardest challenge of all.#

Letting out rage without killing

Anger is an untamed beast inside us. Does it change with age when wisdom and reason dominate over rage and violence? Many people experience in their later years a mellowing in the way they express anger, resentment, protest, denial and discontent caused by a betrayal of trust and trespassing over one's sense of integrity.

To get angry is to lose one's temper. One can be short-tempered or even-tempered depending upon the degree of violation one perceives in the hand of the offending party. The worst kind of anger and the one that hurts the most like the instant piercing of a dagger is the one that comes from persons we love the most. In other words, the more one loves a person, the more painful it is to release anger.

I cannot count the number of times I have been angry and have lost my temper to the point of wanting to murder the object of my hatred. The more intense one loves, the greater the explosion of anger and grief that comes and the expression is often self-destructive. I have been angry when I thought that my innocence over some things was violated. There was a time in my young life when falling in love was an end in itself. But then I discovered that the object of my great love had feet of clay, that shattered my belief in love itself. So I learned that love is not immortal and words of affection can turn into acts of anger.

Outside the realm of the heart where anger can strike deepest, work is an open arena for conflict and confrontation. The more stress one meets in one's work, the easier it is to explode in anger. In the field of journalism where the most unpredictable situations can take place, it is a daily bread to lose temper with almost anything, from bad traffic to boring press conferences. At the end of the day when you thought you had written your best news report, your editor comes back with a copy you hardly recognise was yours originally. So, you succumb to curses from the typewriter to the nearest bar. ( Yes, in those times there were no computers which meant that you did not have to bribe a hacker to spread virus in your own editorial office.)

There are small and big things that provoke us everyday into a mood of rage. Living in Sweden may have tamed the beast in me because it is the Swedish norm of life to be average ( lagom ) in all forms of expressions and actions, average in wealth, in intelligence, in looks, in consumption, in emotions - in literally everything. Anything excessive is social taboo. But, I have realised that instead of becoming angry over certain things - where I have little power to control or change, I end up being indifferent and feeling totally divorced from the situation itself.

A dangerous place to find oneself , this place of apathy because we cease to be members of a society where our voices and our choices, no matter how self-motivated still count in the collective world we live in. If there is anything that truly tames the beast in anger it is most probably the feeling of being a part of something whole, somewhere safe for the heart to take refuge when the going gets rougher. #

The unbearable weight of winter

Two weeks in Cape Verde, in West Africa offered an enormous relief from winter's deepest temperature plunge. It was already bad that December battered us physically especially when the first major snowfall came and halted life into a state of immobility. While the Nordic countries was frozen in ice and most of Europe - including the sunny southern countries of Spain, Italy and Portugal encountered a winter uncommon in these places - Cape Verde seemed completely untroubled by climactic temper.

Upon returning to Stockholm in mid-January, the winter cold's assault appeared unabated. The two weeks of perfect bliss in Cape Verde had suddenly turned into many grim realities. First, it was the discovery that one of our cars was stolen from the parking lot - an old Ford car actually with plenty of carpentry tools at the luggage compartment had fancied som thieves. The second bad news was that, the M/S Tranan boat that my other half

drives went aground, its engine busted in the icy waters. And thirdly, the neighbour's garage near our summer house collapsed from the weight of snow.

The mass transport system consisting of the underground train and buses - which is usually effective with schedules are either delayed or derailed because the snow plowers cannot cope with the job of clearing the roads and tracks. Driving one's car is a life and death adventure and it does not matter how carefully you drive if the others are careless, they could collide with yours or drive you to the canal. By the way, with a heavy snowfall there is no way of knowing where the roadsides are and where the canals and ditches begin.

The working hours are much longer and tedious. The thought that the end of the day could be some happy meetings with friends at a pub or a restaurant becomes less palatable at the thought of coming home late and getting oppressed by the cold. It is not just the coldness of the weather that makes life immobile. It is also the lack of light, of sun that caresses your skin as when you are in a beach and feeling the warmth of sunshine in a state that reminds you of how it is to fall in love, to be in love. But the real consolation is that, the long winter nights do offer a much longer time for huggings and being huddled in a perfect state of unity.#