From one mother to others...

What is it in life that fires our enthusiasm to live? Is it the pursuit of lofty ambition for career, money, love and acknowledgement? At every stage in life, there are challenges we face that we must win over. Think of a new born baby suddenly overwhelmed by the bigness of a universe that sorrounds him, then a small child mastering the use of his motor and speech skills, a little boy or girl enlarging his or her social network in day care, and later in school. As the child grows older, he confronts a growing complexity in dealing with people, things and the world around him.

How are choices made on what's important and what's trivial in life? In the beginning, there is a family that guides the making of choices and it seems safer that someone can take the blame for making mistakes. I have four children I watched grow closely despite the rigours of being a single parent for quite some years. One thing that guided me in dealing with the different phases of growing up, was to avoid the errors made by my own parents and family. I am a liberal parent and dealt with my children as though they were adults, even if they were just small children. If and when they had to make a decision, I allowed them with a reminder that if they made a mistake, they had to take the consequence.

The children I brought to this world have learned to form their own opinions as early as they could muster their ability to think and weigh consequences, to make choices - some daring and adventurous, and savour the triumph of winning new pursuits with every challenge. Today, I watch them with great content that the pursuits they have chosen to take in life are worthwhile and meaningful. They have discovered values to guide them and an open mind to hold back judgment against people and situations that corrupt the world they live in.

I remain the mother and parent to my children, but the bond of friendship is stronger and lasting. One can say that close family relationship is cultural and regional. In less developed countries, the family network is strong and basic to one's life. But in developed countries where the state plays a central role in the upbringing of children through welfarism, family ties are not as close and needful. And when children become adults, it is seldom that parents and children meet except during celebratory events of the year like Christmas. One can say that between birth and death, the moments shared in family togetherness is richer among the poor than in the affluent societies.#