A tribute to Nelly Sindayen

Nelly Sindayan is an institution in Manila's media community. She became one without any efforts on her part. And there are not so many who have attained a celebrity status who can claim the honor of being one. She was unique in the way she became a necessity to all, her nearest friends and every distant visitor who came to Manila to start a long acquaintance with a country, whose secrets were never unraveled so easily. For Nelly Sindayen, Manila and the country was an intimate knowledge.

I have no words that can describe a woman of substance that Nelly Sindayen was. She would probably burst into laughters if I dared so. Our friendship began in mid-1978, when all of a sudden I had to take over Far Eastern Economic Review because Rodney Tasker, the Manila Bureau Chief and ASEAN correspondent was sued by the Defense Minister and hence could not return to Manila for fear of being arrested and taken to jail. Nelly was then, secretary to Rodney Tasker and secretly, the main source of all juicy news on the Moro National Liberation Front (MNLF).

Nelly walked out of being secretary and became - rightfully, her own person as stringer for Time magazine. Southern Philippines was brewing in a two-sided hell: the Muslim separatist war and the Communist insurgency war. Nelly Sindayen, who was a Tausog had all the contacts in the South and had no problems locating the news sources. We made many trips to Southern Philippines, sometimes waiting for airplanes at midnight in the airport.

She had her MNLF contacts and I had my NPA sources. On several occasions, I had to report on the MNLF as well such as the elections for the autonomous regions. I was never alone. Nelly always shared her news sources.

We were also together through many harassments in the hands of Malacanang guards who refused us from going to press conferences, under various pretex that we were not listed officially and Nelly would burst out: "Do you know who you are talking to? Call your superior!" The same scene in many accreditations for coverage of foreign dignitaries. Our names would inadvertently not show up in the official list. I can see how Nelly placed both hands on her hips and said: "Do you see anyone from Time magazine here?"

She was not just an indispensable partner in media reporting. She was an indispensable friend in all those times we suffered setbacks in our emotional lives. Journalists are proned to turbulent love affairs and Nelly was always a heart minder and mender. I don't remember how many times we had been in Mabini - Manila's red district and favorite hangout of our male counterparts, to meet up with them and talk about how we filed our stories. Most of all, to brag about who made a scoop. And Nelly was always joking about male colleagues who celebrated the day's triumph behind the curtains of some sleezy bars.

Nelly Sindayen became an institution not because she ever tried to be one. It just happened through the years of her being a helpful, hospitable friend to all. Her home was a favorite meeting place of everybody- politicians, diplomats, academics and fellow foreign correspondents. She loved to hold parties and invite people of every political persuasion and creed. Her home in Magallanes was designed for parties. When I came to Manila in May 2004 - after ten years of absence, I stayed at her place. We partied almost every night, had lunches with

media friends and went to all the places of the usual "media suspects." She was vibrant, energetic and defiant of all threats of human failures. She defied cancer and refused hospitalisation.

When she stopped responding to my emails, I became worried. It was not like her to let a mail go unanswered. And then I was told she suffered a stroke and was confined in a hospital. I wished, as I had never wished that she would walk out of this situation with the same defiance she had shown during all those difficult situations we had been together, the same defiance against death or the threat of it.

I guess that finally, she had to give up. My biggest regret is that I have not had the chance to see her again, to hold her hands as she lay in her hospital bed and assure her that the friendship we had through all these years, was never going to grave. I will miss her but I have been lucky to be her friend for a very very long time.

Sleep well, Nelly! We are many who love you.