Falling in...and out of love

The cycle of beginnings and endings happens every second, every minute in any part of this planet. There is birth to celebrate and there is death to mourn. When a relationship dies, do we fall apart or feel unshackled from pain, deceit and lies. Deception because we have led ourselves to believe in the fairy tale ending of "living happily ever after", and lies because loving comes with having to lie sometimes, in order to avoid distress and distraction.

Basic truths are however a must in any relationship. It is important to differentiate between falling in love deeply, being strongly attracted (to someone) and just having a fun time while waiting for the right one. In each situation, the degree of pain one suffers with separation varies from mild to tsunami-like aftermath. When love that has deepened with time is corrupted with goals no longer shared in common, separation is a surgical necessity that brings pain during operation but eventually relief with recovery.

Even short-term love affairs are not easy to deal with in terms of endings that shield us from self-loathing and regrets. The time one invests on even short romantic affairs are also precious and tedious as those placed in long-term relationships such as marriages and lifetime companionship. It must be devastating for anyone to go through the process of ending a relationship that has held its ground for many years, only to discover that the foundation is faulty.

There are no wise words to soften the impact of a separation. The heart bleeds and life's motion comes to a stop until a new momentum is found. The healing process differs according to how badly the heart has taken the blow. There are those who never recover from the loss of someone and in most cases, women suffer more than men. There are also those who require a complete change in one's lifestyle and place of living, even a new country in order to avoid running into bad memories. Whatever it is and wherever one takes abode, the important thing is to keep the heart healthy, so that it can give and receive love without the obstruction of a sordid past.#