There has been a long gap between my last blog in August 9, 2011 and today, when I felt an impluse to write about living a dual life, about having two universes to traverse and make life complete. For me, it is having the town and city at the same time. I wish to elaborate on this because this is not a new phenomenon for me. I just realised that since I was young, I was living in two universes, commuting whenever life demanded a change of tempo, climate, belongingness and home.
As a child, I grew up in a small town at the foot of Mayon Volcano. It is a picturesque small town where everyone knew everyone, or where half the population was related by blood in the Filipino's expanded family system. I loved the small town and what it gave us in terms of childhood experience - the games we creatively made because technology was still underdeveloped, the town events that were mostly church-related but for which we looked forward to because it was the thing to be a part of. Most of all, the town fiestas which depending upon one's state of economy were huge feasts or simple ones but still awaited with much excitement, especially the town's formal dance at the plaza where the local society's who's who delightfully patronized in their latest fashionable gowns. As children, we watched outside the fence and felt awed at being part of the social landscape.
That was the town part. Then came the city part that arrived with the need for higher education in universities mostly in Manila. Even then, Manila was already a big metropolis with so much attraction, bright lights, department stores, huge parks that contrasted with the simplicity and smallness of a town. The city meant challenge in school, and later in one's chosen career. When I worked as a journalist for a foreign news magazine, I suddenly found myself submerged in my work. The challenges were so great especially at the time when the country's political situation was not at all friendly to the media.
I had my getaway from all the stress and madness of journalism. I disappeared into the smallness of my hometown and into the loving care of my mother. My children were all small and living partly with my mother during the martial law days. So much was my need for a small town not just to recover lost energies but to seek protection from the relentless harassments of both the military and the dictatorial leadership. I coped with the city's challenges by returning again and again to the simplicity of a small town. It had grown some poisonous snakes during the military's dominance in the countryside but still, the feeling of safety was always there.
Why am I rationalising between a divided life just because I find myself in the same situation today? I want to say that living in two spaces has always been in us. I didn't realise it right away. I thought it was because winter in Western Europe has become harder. This is not really the main reason. Living in a sophisticated city like Stockholm has many demands so much so that time is never enough to complete a day's lifetime. I can appreciate the Swedes love for duality in their lifestyle - of being in the city as well as in the country on weekends. Life goes a full circle. It is having both the simplicity and calm of a town and the challenges of greater living in the city.
In a small island town like Sta. Maria in Sal, life is so much simpler and uncompromising. A mini carnival is already a big event because everyone becomes a part of it. Things that one needs for daily living are not always available but it is the little discoveries that colour a day, like the joy of finding fresh ingredients for cooking, the bountiful food from the sea, the friendliness of the local population.
If I could not live in a town and city and appreciate all there is to being part of both spaces, then I am totally missing the essence of a complete life, of enjoying the variations in environments and of sharing friendships and affection with those around me. It is not wrong to admit that even while I glide in the marble floors of grand places in the city, I can also wade in the mud of a town or village.#
