June must be Cupid's favorite month where falling in love and getting married are the most important celebrations. Falling in love and staying in love is life's most ambitious challenge. But falling in love is not the end in itself as we all know. Like roses, it has thorns that can cause deep cuts when handled wrongly.What has impelled me to dwell on the subject of love? It is Jonathan Franzen's essay "Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts". On first impression I thought that he was admonishing the revolutionary triumph of technology over one's requirement for joy and satisfaction in life, especially a life that is settled enough and therefore needs no further adventures in actual human interactions.
It is true that the latest technological gadgets have made life extremely confortable for users who can communicate with friends in different parts of the globe within seconds. One finds it easier to tell millions of Facebook users the most intimate things in one's life without fear of arguments. Indeed, even when friends go out together to enjoy moments of real human interaction in the name of friendship, there is always the danger lurking in one's handbag or pocket that an IPod or Htc is buzzing for attention. There is no moment of complete solitude even if one so desires that is not broken by the urgency of an IPod or Htc.
Is it truly a no choice situation between life with love but without the jealous technology that never sleeps, that is always there at one's service and forever attentive to one's wishes, a life of comfort with a servant doing one's bid without complaints as opposed to being in love with a person, interacting with that person and going through the process of living endangered at times by bickering, anger and disappointment. How many times can we fall in love, get hurt, curse love, and then love again? And how many small trivial things in a day can fire up and conflagrate into a forest fire? So we retreat and find peace and solace in the company of a laptap.
When we are at pain, we curse everything in the universe except ourselves for our inability to handle the thorns of the beautiful roses. Love like roses needs watering - all that TLC or tender loving care in so many hundred little things we do everyday. Do we give each other comforting words at the end of a difficult work day, hug each other and laugh over a glass of wine while watching some silly relationship reality show. When routines of loving are sometimes forgotten , is the heart forgiving enough to listen to reason? Or do we sulk and prolong the agony of silence.
Living and loving have many traps and we are often sidetracked. It happens sometimes that love is sacrificed for something more exciting and alluring. It is when love itself is exchanged with another love that could be another person, object or adventure. Then comes pain and disappointment and often the promise never to respond to Cupid's beguiling call again. Better be alone with all the sexy technology gadgets that don't cheat on you.
As Franzen admonished in his essay, stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop despairing over the environmental destruction of the planet. Go out and get a life, find love in a person or another living creature. Chances are you could get hurt, but hell you are having a real life. You've outwitted the thorns of the roses and can now enjoy beauty unencumbered by indifference and apathy.#
